Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pensieve's Poetic License #8 - Pensieve for July

I haven't participated in a PPL in quite a while, but when Robin creates a WHOLE NEW form of poetry for the cause...well, how could I NOT participate?

This month's form is a Pensieve, and here is how Robin explains it:

What is a Pensieve? A titled, five-line poem; each line correlates to one of the five senses--sight, sound, scent, taste, touch--and describes the subject (title). The goal is for the reader to take on the poem as his own, being able to "experience" your subject through your words, by seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling what you described.

Of course, right after she gave us that description, she posted a sample that was about 10 lines long...so, she's sticking true to her motto: No Rules, Just Write.

So, here's my attempt:

Final Dance

You can hear their hearts beat, keeping pace with the sound of the drums
Watch the lines of their bodies, pointed toes, extended limbs so agile
Feel the bass, the closeness of their bodies turning two into one
Blood, sweat and tears, poured into this final dance,
For a starved soul, sustenance, food, so perfect a meal.

Copyright 2008 - Karina

There you go...I don't know that I followed the rules exactly, but you know...whatever. I was watching So You Think You Can Dance as I wrote this, and gettig my heart broken (click here if you want to know why), so I just went with the inspiration.

9 comments:

Pamela said...

oh yeah!!!bravo bravo

Robin said...

You know, you're the second person to suggest I'm breaking rules; I need to go back and clarify what I meant--figurative lines, not literal..one complete thought...I guess the more precise word would be "sentences", but that sounds so unpoetic.

Anyways...your poem is in keeping with my thoughts :). I could feel this dance, which is EXACTLY the goal of a pensieve. WELL DONE and the perfect time to return!

Thanks!!

Peculiar said...

Wow! This was good. Boy, using the senses in a poem just puts you right there doesn't it? You just see and feel people. I'm glad I stopped by your blog.

crickl's nest said...

That is wonderful! This was a fun form to write in, wasn't it?

Joy said...

I love dancing (and SYTYCD, though this year doesn't seem to be as "together" as last year!)! This poem was beautiful!!!

As for Will... don't worry! He's going to make it big. Sometimes the show's title gets in the way and people say, "Oh you were just on a reality TV show...". Seriously, he's going to be big!

Karmyn R said...

I don't think ypu broke the rules. It was wonderful!!

jeanie said...

I think the poem is better than the show - but then (a) we don't get American shows until well after the event, (b) I don't like many reality shows and (c) I don't watch much tele.

However - I do sit in the internet and read, and I really like what you have done.

Brandon Satrom said...

Very nicely done!

Julia Smith said...

Love this line, Karina:

'For a starved soul, sustenance, food, so perfect a meal'

Sigh! The perfect description of any dance-lover.